Hey, Buddy: Got a Minute?

My earlier columns have been finalized on the week-end and focus on noteworthy events of the previous week. I am writing this piece, however, on Monday morning. Not because the subject is mundane. Conversely, because it is timeless and I won’t need to wait another few days before deciding to write on the value of two things: free time and friendship.

Each of us has available time in which to do as we “please”. Granted some of that free time is spent accomplishing household tasks and such, and much too often those tasks expand to fill up the entire allotment of time available for more trivial pursuits. I currently live on 40 acres comprised of pasture and trees. The terrain is rolling and, in a few areas, closer to steep. Trust me when I tell you that I have no need for a gym membership. My ranch provides ample opportunity for exercise.

There is always something to cut, something to spray, something to burn, or something to repair on my ranch and there is no doubt that I will pass from this life without completing the work that awaits me. While this may sound depressing, it is, in fact, liberating. You see, if the chance comes along to do something a little more entertaining, I take it. There is no “done” that I am striving toward so another day, more or less, carries no negative consequence. Regardless of the size of the tract around your home, the desire to finish a particular project sometimes overrides all other considerations. And this urge to finish robs us of time better spent.

Recreation is a good thing. I think the word began as “re-creation”: the time needed to recharge, rebuild our strengths, and recover from the slings and arrows of the world. The hyphen was eventually removed and the long “e” morphed into a short one and, voila, recreation: fun stuff. (There is also, unfortunately, “wreckreation”: that’s when free time is fucked up by spending it with folks, or things, that offer no enjoyment whatsoever!)

Face it: your projects will never be completed. And even if a task can finally be considered complete, another chore rears its ugly head. That is a big part of the human condition and should be taken in stride. Well, if the list of to-do’s is endless, then let’s consider putting something off for the sake of our own mental stability. Lie on the grass and look at the sky. Scratch the dog. Hug your spouse. Something that means a hell of a lot more than many other issues that seem, incorrectly, more pressing.

Friends play a big part in the enjoyment of one’s free time. And time with friends sometimes entails tasks that may not be, in and of themselves, considered fun. But the rendering of assistance to someone who is similarly there-for-you is rewarding.

I have a good friend, Parry, who is moving into his new part-time residence on a nearby parcel. He and his wife were planning on doing this move by themselves and there were heavy pieces of furniture involved. Parry called and asked me if I knew someone he could hire to help him out. I told him that I was available, but he refused my offer on the grounds of not wanting to interrupt my day. “Wait a minute,” I told him. “Wouldn’t you help me move if I asked for your help?” “Of course I would,” he replied. Friendship is a two way street. It is important to be there for your friends, but give them the opportunity to be there for you, too. And yes, I arrived to help Parry and yes, he had already completed the move! (My revenge is the inclusion of his name in this column.) We’ve had our chat and I remain hopeful that he will allow me more chances in the future to be as good a friend to him as he is to me.

So do this for me: put your to-do list off to one side and spend the time with friends, family, or other diversions that truly lift your spirits. Whether that interval lasts a moment or the entire day, you’ll find every other demand on your time a little more bearable. And don’t believe for one minute that you’re a procrastinator. Some things are meant to be put off for a day, or two. Dying, for instance