Time To Go!

If you’ve ever owned a dog, you have probably gone through the experience of putting your canine friend down. Dogs just don’t seem to pass away on their own. Perhaps it is due to the allegiance they exhibit towards their owners. It is not a fun time by any measure, but it is essential in holding up your end of the bargain: a lifetime of unconditional love and, in return, no needless suffering on the part of your pet. I’ve played my part in this play on more than one occasion and have thought that we deal with our pets in a more humane way than our human loved ones. And this sentiment is often echoed when the conversation turns to subjects of this nature. There are six states where assisted suicide is not considered a crime and only Oregon allows for a physician’s involvement. So why is it that we are allowed to treat our dogs with such kindness and not our loved ones of the human persuasion?

For one main reason: they’re dogs! Dogs possess the trait that mankind has yet to conquer: unconditional love. Hell, if it were not for the lack of an opposable thumb, dogs might well rule the world and maybe the world would be a better place for it . Beat a dog or love one, at the end of the day he rests his head in your lap looking for some confirmation of the bond between the two of you. No agenda, no ulterior motive. Pure, simple love and companionship with no expectation. And dogs own nothing, so nothing is gained by their departure from this world. These are the reasons why we can treat our canines better than our clan.

The key word in the above-mentioned legislation allowing someone’s hand in their own passing is “assisted”. You see, unconditional love is rare in people and without it the nobility of decisions of this sort disappears. You know the scenario: “Well, Dad (or Mom or Uncle Harry or whomever) sure as hell wouldn’t want to be in this coma, so let’s put him down.” Now, Dad, et al, can designate a decider in cases of this type should Dad find someone to trust with such a choice, but that should be the extent of it. You see, we can make a good decision for our pet because our pet’s love has been unconditional and nothing is gained by our decision. Human love, though, is much more complicated and includes those nasty agendas, expectations, and ulterior motives.

Sad, but true: given the opportunity, many of us humans would let money and power and greed of other kinds enter into the when’s and how’s of the demise of those naming us in their wills. No such thing as unconditional here, folks. Most of us are worth more dead than alive anyway, and the last thing we need is some inheritor moving up our day of reckoning. And there’s no way to tell the nobles from the ne’er-do-wells until the moment arrives.

I sometimes kid my wife and tell her that I’m afraid to take a nap for fear of her having me declared dead! “That’s right, officer. Get him on that embalming table right now because I know that’s what he’d want!” Yes, it’s all in fun (I hope), but too many times life imitates art.

So do the right thing by your dog and keep him from the painful infirmities of old age or disease. But don’t get too carried away in hoping for similar vehicles on the human side of things. We simply have not evolved to that point yet. My parents once described an ever-increasing hectic world as one “going to the dogs”. In another sense, it may not be a bad idea.