One Helluva Bad Idea

Well, California's done it again: last week the Assembly voted to approve “No Cussing Week”. I can only hope that other state legislatures have enacted similar resolutions if for no other reason than commiseration. It seems that a teen-aged boy came up with the idea of refraining from “cussing” for a week. When a cuss word was uttered, a fee was paid to the Cuss Jar and, at the end of the week, all proceeds went to charity. This idea is so wrong on so many fronts that I just had to set aside more trivial matters and set my sights on this as the issue of the week.

First of all, please define cussing. Is it simply the taking of the lord’s name in vane (God#%&it)? Or does it include more common expletives (s&*t, hell, damn, dammit, f@$k, and so on)? We need some specific guidelines here if we are to abide by the law of the land.

And if the money obtained from cussing goes to charity and charity is a worthy cause, shouldn’t we then encourage cussing for a week? Look at the oodles of money we could collect! Instead, we discourage cussing and the collection jar diminishes accordingly. Is civil language trumping the needy? I sure as hell hope not!

And what about the legislators that have been caught up in this? I cannot think of one state or locality with no business of a higher priority on its plate, can you? Is this a desperate demonstration of bipartisanship? An example of how well we can get along (so long as it doesn’t involve anything of import)? I’d be ashamed to even entertain such a motion when urgent business awaits.

And finally, we get to today’s language itself. Granted, over the years once-thought-of expletives have crept into our vernacular. And, in some cases, they have overwhelmed what was once-thought-of as civil discourse. But the majority of folks, I’d say, recognize situations where letting it all hang out is inappropriate. Do you really believe that electronic media personalities never swear? Or lawyers or doctors? (I’ll omit pilots because everyone knows that we sure as hell do.) Yup, you can bet your gosh-darned boots they can swear up a blue streak when called upon. Well, most, anyway. My point lies in the fact that removing the more profane from our lexicon also removes the spice from conversation. There are times to use it and times to resist. To suggest that abstinence from expletives makes us a better society is ludicrous and creates nothing but a façade.

Some have commented on the profanity in my book. I believe that the words chosen were germane and not gratuitous. A book is not available to the public at large in the same sense as this weekly offering. That is why you see little or no “cussing” on this site. It is not because those phrases might not apply. Choosing the right time and place to either orate with grace or proselytize from the gutter is the thing. To attempt to remove such terms is akin to taking all the flavor from our foods: we’d be left with a pretty bland conversation.