The Rear View Mirror

A co-worker of mine passed away last week. She and I were close, so it was a priority for me to attend her memorial service. It was held in a Catholic church as she was an Irish Catholic all of her life. Now, churches and I have little in common, but that is not to say I  loathe being in one. In this case, I abstained from the trappings of responding to the priest, etc. Of course, most times I had no idea of how to respond to begin with. Communion? Nope.

The priest delivered the sermon, if you will, and in it he discussed the difference between accomplishment and promise and how it applies to someone who dies before an age that is considered appropriate by society. This comparison struck me to the point where I took out a paper and pen to jot it down lest I forget it.

Think about it: the time we spend appreciating our accomplishments is minor when compared to the time we spend in planning our next set of goals. Our promise, or potential, overrides any past successes as though they are either unimportant or simply a sign of better things to come. The problem lies in the fact that, at some point, there are no future plans because our future no longer exists. We have toiled and striven and dreamed of greater things only to find them ultimately unattainable while ignoring the magnitude of past victories.

Take a moment and think about your life and how someone might describe it if you were to die today. No, you didn't get to millionaire status, but you raised a wonderful family, didn't you? Or, perhaps, your private life was overshadowed by your career progression. Regardless, we've all fallen short in some of our lifelong aspirations while far exceeding our wildest dreams in others. But we have a hard time in embracing the positives and, instead, seem to dwell on our failures. Maybe that’s why we avoid looking back in the first place. Anyway, why wait until we die to savor the things in our past that are noteworthy? Part of the human condition, I guess, but a part that fails to serve our best interests.

I suggest a better balance between our looking ahead for greater returns and enjoying that which we have already accomplished. I see nothing wrong in admitting that, in some ways, our potential has not yet been reached while in others, we've so much for which to be grateful. Resting on our laurels need not be a full-time job, nor should it be, but a little reminiscing and reveling in our glory days may well better prepare us for the challenges that lie ahead. And, as my regular readers know all too well, I’m not suggesting that we lower our expectations. Rather, a look back might remind us that it was a high expectation that contributed greatly in getting us to where we are now.

The Army coined the phrase “be all you can be” as a recruiting motto and I fully support its intent in the greater scheme of things. But take a glance in your personal rear view mirror from time to time and take pride in all that you’ve become.