She's Gone...

The time had come: she had to move on to someone who would put her through her paces. She had been loyal to me for 12 years. If anyone was guilty of abuse, it was me. But she took it in stride and never struck back. Regardless, our time was over and this chapter was closing.

My wife? Are you crazy? “She” is a 1997 Christen Eagle II: a two-seat aerobatic biplane.

We bought her new and I have enjoyed her for the past dozen years. I’m not here today to boor you with the details of my decision. Rather, I am here to illustrate how the closing of chapters in our lives is a natural occurrence and should not be avoided or delayed unnecessarily.

We see it everyday in various forms. Probably the most common is the aging athlete who refuses to retire. I’ll not mention names, but you know who I’m talking about. Look at other facets of our society and you’ll find similar cases of hanging on to a job or possession long after the time has come to move on. Regardless, many of us keep on keepin’ in the name of competitiveness and what-not. I’d say the truth lies somewhere closer to the inability (or unwillingness) to accept the facts of aging, growing, and changing priorities. “Sell my Harley? Are you nuts? They’ll think I’ve lost my edge and turned into a wimp. No, I don’t ride it anymore, but what does that have to do with it?” Or, “I’d quit, but they need me.”

The closing of chapters is not easy nor does it occur without soul searching and angst. The mind usually leads the way to the inevitable conclusion and awaits the arrival of the heart. But these exercises result in getting to know ourselves better and maybe becoming more comfortable with ourselves at the same time. No one expects you to be the same person you were at 21...why should you?

I’ve had many chapters in my life and some I’ve left behind: an Air Force stint of 20 years (well worth the effort, but rarely missed), 27 years of football officiating (I miss the field, but not the preparation), and now the sale of an airplane I have cherished and will eternally miss. These passages do nothing to diminish me, but simply represent a point of diminishing returns. That which is left behind is better served in other hands.

We all like to think that our contributions to any group effort will be missed when we leave. Think back to the times when co-workers have departed. Did you experience separation anxiety? I doubt it. No, the corporate machinery continued to grind on. Someone once told me that retirement is like pulling your hand out of a bucket of water: once your hand is out, there is no proof that it was ever there. Maybe that’s how it should be. Be assured, however, that such an experience awaits us all and it is up to each of us as to how we handle it. Do we resist and tarnish the entire exercise or smile warmly as we bid adieu? Passages are bittersweet, to be sure, but pave the way for other chapters in our lives.

It is a near certainty that, as you close a chapter, you will be asked, “What now?” Human nature being what it is, we seem to always need a goal, don’t we? For the time being, however, no new airplane is on my immediate horizon. My plate is currently full with other pursuits, but the time will come when I find a new “girl” who will turn my head with her lines and attributes. And a new chapter will begin. Such is the story of our lives.