The Last Hurrah

As we move through our chosen livelihoods, most of us form an image of what the final day on the job will be like. Our “last hurrah”, if you will. Some envision accolades and applause while others have less grandiose (and more realistic) expectations. Regardless, that final act takes on a life of its own as the dreamed-of day approaches. And rarely does the reality live up to the fantasy we’ve constructed in our head. So what? No, seriously, so what? Just because the final curtain comes down a bit crooked, does it negate the body of work created over the years? I’d say no and have a personal anecdote for the basis of my argument.

Yes, I’m recently retired. Four months early and I’ll spare you the convoluted rationale behind my early departure. Suffice it to say that a good portion of my retirement money depended upon the performance of the stock market and the August swoon on Wall Street was significant. Luckily, I was afforded a “look-back” of 90 days. And 90 days ago the market was doing pretty good so I took the money and ran.

An airline pilot plans for what is called a “finis-flight”: one last sequence accompanied by a significant other and perhaps a hand-picked First Officer and Flight Attendant crew. A desirable layover is also sought so as to spend it partaking of good food and libation. The icing on the cake includes a water cannon salute provided by the airport Fire Department as the retiring Captain taxies the aircraft between two firetrucks spraying an arch of water. This is generally accomplished after the last landing as the aircraft heads to the gate. Sounds kinda neat, doesn’t it?

I’d be lying if I told you that the scenario I just described did not play over and over in my head as my final flights (to New York’s Kennedy and back to San Francisco the next evening) on August 28th/29th drew closer. I had my F/O (Irene) and several F/A’s that I hold in high regard on the crew list, my wife was ticketed in the cabin, and all was well with the world. My last hurrah was going to be memorable.

Until the “other” Irene raised her ugly countenance. You know...the hurricane? Yup, she was scheduled to arrive in the New York area at just about the same time as I was. Guess who won out on that race? You’re right again: my flight was canceled. My chief pilot offered another flight early the next week, but my wife could not transfer her ticket due to other cancelled passengers filling up any and all available seats. To fly a special trip without her would have been anything but special, so I elected to pass. As a result, my finis-flight was the previous 2 day trip (to Miami and back) and I had little to show for that one save for a look backwards in an attempt to remember as much of it as possible.

Disappointing? Without a doubt. Frustrating? Yes, but, in a twisted sort of way, is there a more fitting end to an airline career in the 21st century than with a cancellation? And, in the great scheme of things, does it really matter? In over 26 years with the airline and almost 20 as a Captain, I did not bend one piece of aluminum nor put any crew member or passenger in harm’s way. That is my body of work and one in which I am most proud.

Athletes do not usually bask in the limelight of a memorable last at-bat or TD catch or buzzer-beating three point basket. Doctors don’t get to save a life on their last day, nor do lawyers win a high-profile case as they walk out the door. Cops don’t catch the crook, either. And many others walk out of buildings with a cardboard box holding the personal remnants of their office or cubicle, victims of bankruptcy and the like. No, many “last hurrahs” contain nothing close to a triumphant cry.

I encourage each and every one of you to allow yourself the fantasy of conjuring up your ideal departure from your life’s work. But don’t be overly surprised when your “Irene” shows up to dash it into the rocks. And don’t be overly disappointed, either. Remember your body of work, built slowly over the years, and never forget the positive impact you had, day in and day out, as you plied your trade and lived your dream. And walk away with your head held high and your eyes on the future. That last strike out or unsuccessful surgery or hung jury or, yes, cancelled flight dims in comparison to the overall effort expended over the years. And, if we’re lucky, the best is yet to come...

Retirement

Some of us are fortunate in working for an enterprise over a lengthy period of time and ultimately arriving at a retirement date. This date is anxiously awaited as it draws nearer to the present day and is generally met with accolades, trinkets, and recollection. Why?

Is it because those on whose behalf we toiled are finally recognizing our efforts over the years? Doubtful, since most benefits gained over those same years were not provided without a fight. Is it because our co-workers have secretly admired us and genuinely care for our well-being? Equally doubtful, since our departure opens up a new opportunity for one of them. No, it is a ritual based on the façade of feigned appreciation and self-serving congratulatory opportunities.

Long time service to a company is rewarded through an agreed upon mechanism comprised of money and benefits. Granted, some are better than others and some are non-existent, but that’s the retirement deal and we should leave it at that. Except for the fact that many workers have seen their retirement promises swept away through bankruptcy proceedings. Auto workers, airline pilots, and other folks operating under an abrogated agreement are now left with little or no financial security in their supposedly golden years. While we cannot necessarily come to their rescue, perhaps we can find a way to prevent (or at least minimize) similar fates to future retirees.

Funded 401K’s allow workers to maintain control over the retirement funds throughout their period of employment. Should the company fold, the employees take their money and hit the road. The size of the nest egg may be smaller, but size is of no import if the egg disappears altogether. There are other vehicles that set retirement funds outside the reach of bankruptcy proceedings, but these provisos are generally limited to those sitting within the executive suites. Why is that, do you think?

Social security established a safety net for those that had nothing else. The age at which benefits would flow to them was set at 65 and, hence, became the recognized retirement age. They didn’t just pull that number out of their butt, you know. At the time, 65 years was the average life expectancy for an American male. While the life expectancy has increased, there has been no political will to similarly adjust the retirement age or onset of Social Security benefits. And now the holes in our safety net are gaping to the point where many fall through and its long term viability is in doubt.

There can be little doubt that the business retirement model must change along with a reasonable retirement age that reflects an increasingly aging, yet productive workforce. It seems that many over 65 years old are working anyway just to make ends meet so why not keep them as an official member of the workforce while saving Social Security for those for whom it was intended.

Turning back to the act of retiring: many believe that their absence spells doom for their chosen field of endeavor. There is a word for this: crap. Although the boss will try to convince any worker bee to stay on a little longer, the motive is self-serving in that the prolonged presence delays the need to fill a position. You know: interviewing, hiring, training. Why not suck just a bit more life out of our underling under the guise of “we need you”? Regardless, when one chooses to bow out, the operation continues on, unabated. No one is irreplaceable. Retirement was once described to me as pulling a hand out of a pail of water. Once the hand is out, there is no proof it was ever there. Such is the case with retirement. Get used to it and get over it. Others have put so much into their career that they simply cannot imagine life without their job. A sad commentary, to be sure, and one to be avoided if at all possible.

As for the cake, the watch, or the “party” comprised of guests with whom I have no desire to spend time? Give me my “laurel and hearty handshake” (thank you Mel Brooks) and be done with it. Retirement is just a phase of our employment, albeit the last phase, and merits no public recognition. Private recognition is a different matter, altogether. We all have special friendships forged in the workplace and there is nothing wrong in acknowledging those relationships at their natural conclusion. (I know…everyone says that they’ll keep in touch and we all know that those promises fail more often than not.) So invite your real friends and have a blow out to celebrate your newly found freedom rather than bemoaning your departure from servitude.

I am 627 days from my retirement date. Upon reaching it, should I be so lucky, I have no intention of publicly announcing my retirement nor do I desire a ceremony or cake or anything from those that owe me nothing save a check, should one still be available, and a door to walk through as I leave my workplace for the final time. I will, however, be breaking bread and imbibing with those who really want to be there with me!