Retirement

Some of us are fortunate in working for an enterprise over a lengthy period of time and ultimately arriving at a retirement date. This date is anxiously awaited as it draws nearer to the present day and is generally met with accolades, trinkets, and recollection. Why?

Is it because those on whose behalf we toiled are finally recognizing our efforts over the years? Doubtful, since most benefits gained over those same years were not provided without a fight. Is it because our co-workers have secretly admired us and genuinely care for our well-being? Equally doubtful, since our departure opens up a new opportunity for one of them. No, it is a ritual based on the façade of feigned appreciation and self-serving congratulatory opportunities.

Long time service to a company is rewarded through an agreed upon mechanism comprised of money and benefits. Granted, some are better than others and some are non-existent, but that’s the retirement deal and we should leave it at that. Except for the fact that many workers have seen their retirement promises swept away through bankruptcy proceedings. Auto workers, airline pilots, and other folks operating under an abrogated agreement are now left with little or no financial security in their supposedly golden years. While we cannot necessarily come to their rescue, perhaps we can find a way to prevent (or at least minimize) similar fates to future retirees.

Funded 401K’s allow workers to maintain control over the retirement funds throughout their period of employment. Should the company fold, the employees take their money and hit the road. The size of the nest egg may be smaller, but size is of no import if the egg disappears altogether. There are other vehicles that set retirement funds outside the reach of bankruptcy proceedings, but these provisos are generally limited to those sitting within the executive suites. Why is that, do you think?

Social security established a safety net for those that had nothing else. The age at which benefits would flow to them was set at 65 and, hence, became the recognized retirement age. They didn’t just pull that number out of their butt, you know. At the time, 65 years was the average life expectancy for an American male. While the life expectancy has increased, there has been no political will to similarly adjust the retirement age or onset of Social Security benefits. And now the holes in our safety net are gaping to the point where many fall through and its long term viability is in doubt.

There can be little doubt that the business retirement model must change along with a reasonable retirement age that reflects an increasingly aging, yet productive workforce. It seems that many over 65 years old are working anyway just to make ends meet so why not keep them as an official member of the workforce while saving Social Security for those for whom it was intended.

Turning back to the act of retiring: many believe that their absence spells doom for their chosen field of endeavor. There is a word for this: crap. Although the boss will try to convince any worker bee to stay on a little longer, the motive is self-serving in that the prolonged presence delays the need to fill a position. You know: interviewing, hiring, training. Why not suck just a bit more life out of our underling under the guise of “we need you”? Regardless, when one chooses to bow out, the operation continues on, unabated. No one is irreplaceable. Retirement was once described to me as pulling a hand out of a pail of water. Once the hand is out, there is no proof it was ever there. Such is the case with retirement. Get used to it and get over it. Others have put so much into their career that they simply cannot imagine life without their job. A sad commentary, to be sure, and one to be avoided if at all possible.

As for the cake, the watch, or the “party” comprised of guests with whom I have no desire to spend time? Give me my “laurel and hearty handshake” (thank you Mel Brooks) and be done with it. Retirement is just a phase of our employment, albeit the last phase, and merits no public recognition. Private recognition is a different matter, altogether. We all have special friendships forged in the workplace and there is nothing wrong in acknowledging those relationships at their natural conclusion. (I know…everyone says that they’ll keep in touch and we all know that those promises fail more often than not.) So invite your real friends and have a blow out to celebrate your newly found freedom rather than bemoaning your departure from servitude.

I am 627 days from my retirement date. Upon reaching it, should I be so lucky, I have no intention of publicly announcing my retirement nor do I desire a ceremony or cake or anything from those that owe me nothing save a check, should one still be available, and a door to walk through as I leave my workplace for the final time. I will, however, be breaking bread and imbibing with those who really want to be there with me!