Memory Lane

Last night I attended the 40th reunion for my high school’s class of 1969. I’ve made most of the previous get-togethers and thought it well worth the effort in traveling from California to northern Illinois (in November, no less!). I’ll spare you the details, but I’d bet that the ingredients of this particular reunion are common to all other similar assemblies, including yours.

Out of a class of approximately 600, last night’s participation was far from a majority. Some regular attendees were forced to choose between competing agendas and others are historically absent. I am left to wonder why some are adamant in their refusal to attend or even acknowledge the event. Like it or not, we are each an aggregate of our experiences and the high school years, while sometimes trying and confusing, played a large role in who, what, and where we are today. Reunions offer the opportunity to pause and reflect upon those times and lead us to appreciate our successes while accepting our failures.

I have no family left in my “home town”, so I’ve spent the past two nights in a local hotel room. To come this far requires maximizing the opportunity to stroll down memory lane since I doubt I’ll return prior to the next reunion. I had breakfast with the first airline pilot I ever met. He was a substitute teacher and I was a high school junior with a newly found passion for flight. He has always been my hero and is now in failing health. Sharing a meal allowed me to think back to the things that became possible through my association with him.

A friend of mine passed away several years ago and this was my first chance to pay my respects. His wife took me out to his gravesite. The ensuing (and inevitable) tears helped me find closure and I am now able to put my heart to rest.

I also took time to drive by the homes I resided in during my youth. Each one offered differing memories and, each in their own way, a look back onto the path that ultimately led me to my present position. Missing the chance to relive those times would have been unseemly to me despite the mix of good times and bad each abode represented.

Last night was the main event. Forty years makes it harder to recognize some classmates without looking at their name-tag, but recognition gave way to recollection and good conversation. We’ve lost some classmates through the years and their passing clarifies the fact that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. All the more reason to take advantage of similar soirees.

Some simplify a reunion into a process of reconnecting with the cohorts of yore and, while that is a big part, it also represents the opportunity to connect with those who were largely unknown to us. It amazes me how time erases the differences and allows for new friendships. To ignore the unfamiliar is to waste this opportunity.

None of us are unchanged by the passage of time. Physically, emotionally, and intellectually: we have slowly grown into the person we see in the mirror. Looking into our memory banks serves us well so we can better appreciate the present. And what better venue than the good old class reunion to activate those recollections? Some have attended a reunion to find the experience less than fulfilling. So be it. After all, not every graduating class in every high school can claim equal levels of esprit de corps. And far be it for me to urge those folks to keep up a fruitless exercise expecting different results. But if you’ve yet to show up at your class reunion of any numbered anniversary, I urge you to give it at least one good shot. You might be surprised. Forget about your weight or hair or what-have-you. Just go...

As for me, I probably will not stay in regular contact with the classmates I saw last night. Nor would you or most other folks. That’s not necessarily the point, is it? But I’ve made a few new connections and am renewed by reconnecting to the people and places that contributed to the story of my life.